Posted in Letter, Prose, Satire, Uncategorized, writer, writing

Open letter to my future mother-in-law

Respected Mother-in-law

Funny, how people close to me keep teasing me that you are to be dreaded and revered at. And funny, how my previous manager said that you’ll be the one to straighten me up ( I have already improved myself a lot, so lesser tasks in your kitty now)

Let’s get somethings straight, you’ll never be my mother and I’ll never be your daughter. So that formality must go when I’m with you. I tease my mother a lot and I can not think of doing the same with you, out of respect. At 28, I still play pranks on my dear Mommy and having a good time after that. But I can’t do that with you. I have no intention of replacing your daughter ( if you have one) or becoming one (if you don’t have one).
You’ll always love your own progeny more than me and I accept that.

But yes, we can have our fun moments too. Since you and I are going to spend a lot of time together, we’ll make the most of it.

I’ll take some time in getting acquainted with you, I can not be pally with you in the first meeting itself. We have all had our trust broken and I learn from my mistakes. But once I’m comfortable with you, we are going to have a hell of a ride.

You might find me arrogant and an introvert the first time you meet me, this is my first impression to the majority of population. But I’m pretty sure you’ll have a good time knowing this volcano of a person.

I know how to ride a motorcycle and since my Mom doesn’t trust me with any vehicle, so I’ll take you on those adventurous bike rides. And I know how to cook a delicious meal (God bless my genes and creativity) and you’ll see a lot of experimentation in your kitchen.
I don’t have any grand plans of ruling your home with a bundle of keys on my waist (as depicted in Hindi soap operas) but your kitchen has to be mine. No compromises on that. One of my cousins gifted us a lovely set of knives (chef’s and butcher’s knife included) and I’m bringing that set as dowry. And yes, a wooden chopping board too because I have developed a habit of cutting edibles like a chef after watching those numerous cookery shows.
Please don’t worry, your kitchen will be fine, it is in safe hands.
I love to shower onstentatious gifts on the people close to me, so please do not be surprised if you receive a Kanjeevaram or a Banarasi silk on your birthday. My taste in Indian attire is pretty developed because of those innumerable shopping sprees with my Mom.
Coming to your pampered brat of a son, I have no intention of mollycoddling him the way you do. You can continue doing that, he can continue being a Momma’s boy, I really don’t mind. But when he is with me, he has to be a responsible man – independent and capable of taking his own decisions.
I know that I can never shower the sort of affection that you do on him. I somehow understand this because of my late grandmother’s fondness for her sons.

I have developed travelling as a hobby, and sometimes I go for solo travel. My mom is too scared to travel with me to unknown destinations (though we have gone together to Lucknow countless times) but I would love to take you on those travels. Please don’t worry, I won’t go for trekking with you. But wherever we go, I’ll take care of you and your dear son will feel pretty jealous of us.
My sheer adamancy will sometimes give you a hard time but trust me when I say that diplomacy wins more wars than ammunition.
My previous manager and many of my friends would also like to express their best wishes to you on my wedding day since you are taking me in your household. You are my mother-in-law, you’ll have own your swagger.
I wish to express more here, but I’ll keep those points for our conversations. Because after all, what is the fun if I reveal everything here?

Hoping to meet you soon,
Sincerely
Shreya Srivastava
(The surname won’t change, even if yours is different from mine. Yes but Shreya S. whatever your son’s surname is can be negotiated)

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