27.5 – that “tender” age when people around me are either getting married or having kids. And I am still living with my parents, basking in Mom’s love, working like a maniac, writing regularly for my blog and a few other tasks which I would rather not mention.
“How can you marry her off, she is still a kid,” – scoffs my younger sister when my Mom raises the question.
“So when are you getting married? You look not more than 25, but you will get older and there will be fewer men for you. And even if you get married at 30, you need to have kids within two years, otherwise you will face problems.” This is the statement I get to hear a gazillion times – one of the many reasons I avoid talking to people about my personal life. I would rather not write about my dating or marriage plans but I will write about my views on this hot topic.
Yes, I sometimes wish that I was married and had kids. I look at kids a la Monika Geller and sometimes ache for them. But then the Robin Scherbatsky in me ponders over the things I would not have done if I was tied to a man and kids. A few years back, I used to think about getting married by 25, but now I thank my destiny for getting me off that track. Why? Because I would not have started my passion for writing food reviews. I would not have explored different types of cuisines and relished those experiences. I would not have met so many wonderful people who have motivated me to be my best. I would not have travelled to such exciting places and soaked the warmth (and the cold) there. I would not have become clearer in my mind about my ambitions. I would have been pre-occupied with my new family and the responsibilities it brings. I would not have become more independent, would never have travelled solo and would never get to network so much.
And alas there are so many things to do in life! So many new things to do, so many books to read, so many dishes to try and so many places to travel. This world is a big place and I would love to visit as many places as I can and relish my stay there. I would love to meet new people, get embroiled in their culture, learn about their cuisine and write my experiences here. I wish to visit Coachella and experience my favourite heavy metal bands. I want to do snorkeling and scuba diving again at some beautiful coral island. I want to hike a few treks and see the valleys from there. I want to see Eden Hazard (bless him!) live even if he leaves Chelsea. I wish to progress so much more that I can buy without a blink. (I already do that but hey, that Ducatti!)
And I have just started running. Seven hells, I want to run a marathon!
And I want to keep doing all this independently without being tied to anything or anyone.
When I was a kid, I decided that I will never bow down to anything which brings down my ambitions. For some time, I did yield but then I remembered my true self. And I do not want to disappoint that girl.
I will marry when I meet a man who shares my ambitions and passion for life, who does not want to be tied to anything and is mature enough to let me be independent. That man knows his shared responsibility in a family but refuses to accept the drudgery that comes with it. There are few men who have this sense of maturity about life and are willing to explore new aspects.
“Don’t you want to feel loved and taken care of?” Another idiotic question for a woman whose Mom has given her enough love and attention to last a few lifetimes. Yeah yeah, all Moms do that, but hey, after receiving so much from her, I do not “seek love.” I am already full of it. Blink blink.
I can take care of myself. And every person can. You do not need a lover for that. Period.
And to put it dreamily and a bit humorously, that man is charming, sarcastic and humorous like Damon Salvatore and Chandler Bing, utterly idiotic and slightly kid like similar to Barney Stinson, as nerdy as Sheldon Cooper and as ambitious as Frank Underwood. I will stress the most on Damon and Frank because they let their ladies be independent and treat them as equals. Maybe I can enjoy a few activities with him the way Robin enjoys laser tag, scotch and cigars with Barney. And maybe I can have nerdy and intellectual discussions with him the way Amy does with Sheldon.
Marriage is not the answer to your loneliness and your yearnings for love and care. It is never the answer to getting a second hand in managing expenses. You settle down when you meet your other half and develop an understanding with him/her. Till then, keep exploring life because it has so much to offer.
“Ohh Amy, you clever vixen…”
I would die to hear that!
And age…..I will be young, sipping Sangrias till the end!
One Comment Add yours
This is so well written ! More power to you 🙂